The Nine Most Wanted: April 2021

By Amos Staff

Details below: Left to Right, Top to Bottom

All items have been chosen independently by Amos staff, regardless of affiliate links (which are marked). Recommendations cannot be bought. Not all links reflect the cheapest price so please, shop around. Shopping posts seem a little insensitive when so many people are struggling. Please see the bottom of this post for helpful references. 

1.) Archipelago Botanicals Candle: Havana. We also adore Archipelago’s Stonehenge and Black Forest scents but we think this Havana scent is really great for Spring into Summer. Like a Cuban idyll: sun, rum, a soupçon of tobacco, a sprinkle of coconut, and saltwater. Good for the soul. (Check it: Amazon or Archipelago Botanical)

2.) Waterproof and submersible corded LED lights with remote, 2 pack. Okay. There are a blue million (approximately) LED waterproof lights. A metric shit ton of those (give or take) are pucks, tea lights, or otherwise battery-dependent. Which means you’re going to be throwing the little bastards away, most likely. We prefer these corded lights because they will last longer and will not frustrate you with battery changes. We’re buying them for the mini water gardens we like to make in pots on the Amos World HQ grounds but we wouldn’t be opposed to tossing one in our fish tank and/or bathtub. The two-pack is the best deal we could find, but what the hell, you look for the ones you want. This set comes with a remote and can be found on Amazon. (And yes, Amazon is a morally quite imperfect actor so buying from them is up to you. Wealthier people can be a bit choosier. But we do genuinely acknowledge that buying from Amazon has issues.)

3.) Neutrogena Rainbath. So, we read that one online reviewer felt that original Neutrogena rainbath bodywash smells like, and I quote, “Brut.” We object. The original Rainbath smells clean and wonderful and we dig the amber color and the way it makes our skin feel (clean and no soap residue). The scent clings just enough that you occasionally get a hint but not so much that it will clash with your perfume/cologne and/or announce your presence before you arrive. We’re fans. Plus, dermatologists recommend it. While sometimes we’re in the mood for something more fragrant or luxe, we’re going to just confess: this is sort of our absolute favorite in the entire world (and if it were a teensy bit more in the Suave line of pricing, we’d buy it a lot more frequently. Insert something here about getting what one pays for). They have other flavors too (red and rain and floral and maybe purple) but we’re hanging with this clean + pear + a teensy bit of spice original. We like the Costco mega bottle, if we’re going to promote non-affiliate shopping. (Oh, look. We just did.)

4.) Alexandrite and Topaz Dangle Earrings. Okay, so the site that sells these does not say so, but we’re gonna just hazard a guess that the stones here are lab created. (Genuine alexandrite can be a little pricier than the $22.99 + $6.99 shipping that these damn things will set you back). And even though we have a gut feeling we’d be painting these earrings with clear nail polish to protect the color and even though we wish to all that is holy that these were lever-back instead of fish hook, welp, we’re also going to say we’re pretty well obsessed with these damn earrings. And if the “alexandrite” actually does that alexandrite magical thing of switching from purple to green to topaz depending on the light? Then they’re worth a gazilliondy dollars (technical term). Anyhoo, here’s the site. Order us a pair while you’re at it. (And yes, we know that April’s birthstone is diamond. So sue us. We were in this mood, not that mood. P.S. Diamonds are expensive, homie.)

5.) French Blue Men’s Dress Shirt. It’s a classic. And you can’t beat French Blue for summer, either. Pair it with Khaki shorts or pants, or linen. Or jeans. Or sweats. Or nothing. No one cares that much. But it’s a beautiful color and even Amazon considers it a damn Essential. We chose this one because an actual man told us that he didn’t like the button-down collars and this one is obviously button free (the collar, not the shirt).

6.) Tinted lip colors, Vintage slider design. Remember those Village lip tins from the 80s? (See here, dammit.) Well, now, dear Reader, you can get the re-boot, but tinted (squeal!). Still flavored, still in the perfect, twee little click-y tins, but with color so you can totes have your make-up cake and wear it, too, like, visibly and such. Exclusively at Tinte Cosmetics (not an affiliate, but hell, we’re willing if they are).

7.) Slouch Socks! They say for women but we say they’re for everyone. We’ve shown the black and the white in the picture but this supplier offers 15 colors if you’re needing something flashier. If you pull them all the way up (why?) they would reach a normal adult knee-length. But we’re really feeling like it’s time for the super-slouchy sock look to return. We’re going to wear ours with high-top sneaks but we think they could really cute with slides, Birkenstocks, or even, (hate mail in comments, please) with the right kind of flats. The ones pictured are from Amazon (yeah, we know, and seriously, we are NOT affiliates) but there are some even better ones (pricier though) on Etsy, AliBaba, and boutique/name brand sites. Google that shit if you’re interested.

8.) Dragonfly Stained Glass Umbrella. Brightly colored stained glass print stick umbrella, full size, automatic open. There are several stained glass style umbrellas on the market but we think the dragonfly one is pretty great. Excellent Mother’s Day gift. And who doesn’t love red for an umbrella? (Yet again, we’re linking to stupid exploitative Amazon, god help us, but if you type “stained glass umbrella” into your search engine of choice, you’ll find other shopping options.)

9.) Ouija Spirit Board iPhone Case. Look, not only is it visually interesting but if you have a mint or a penny handy, you can actually play Ouija (uh, channel the dead?) on it. So who doesn’t like that? Supports your favorite-est general interest weirdo magazine, Etsy shop, and podcast. It’s our Amos shop, y’all. (Affiliate)

HONORABLE MENTION: If you are eligible for a COVID-19 vaccine, get it. Definitely most wanted, certainly necessary. And free to you (in the U.S.), miraculously.

We know times are hard for many people (us included; to be honest, this is a daydreaming sort of post). Here are some references if you need a little help:

If you need assistance (food, shelter, health, references for specialized help), call 211 or visit

We hope you don’t need this line but if you are considering suicide, there is help for you. Please call 800-273-8255. 24 hours, free. You are NOT alone.

Tell your congressperson what you are feeling, what you need, what you expect them to do as your representative. Start here: Find Your Representative and Find Your Senator.

Find your state representatives, too: type in your state + gov. This should help you find your state and local representatives and, most importantly, contact them. Tell them what you think. Your opinion matters. 

Find Your Local Food Bank

Also: Amosmag supports various charities. We’ve included the list here. If you would like to support our creators, writers, podcasters, and charities, please consider donating via Pay Pal to this link.

Thanks for visiting Amos. Please let us know in the comments what you think or what you’d like to see. And if there’s something you’ve seen that should be in the Nine Most Wanted, please include it in the comments or send us a message. Maybe it will appear in May’s edition.

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