By Leonard Pigg
I didn’t like that feeling. It came out of nowhere, thanks to the memories of social media. Sometimes I find myself more content with the gaps than the sudden influx of a thousand and one regrets. The undercurrent of contempt that arose from the ashes of my past calls all my choices into question. Should I have looked more than I leaped? Once upon a time, I saw her as the dream. She saw fit to prove me wrong. I lived in a different world back then. In retrospect, I see nothing but the nightmare. Wasted time. Futile effort. Pointless energy invested toward a potential future that never came to pass. A slight twinge of shame for having spent emotions needlessly and finishing last.
When I saw the photos, my first thought was how she had looked relatively the same. However, upon closer scrutiny, there were signs of the beatdown life had given her. Talks of sobriety, divorces, a touch of gray, multiple kids with different last names, a gallery of photos featuring different dance partners over the years. Then there was the photo of the current contender, blissfully unaware of the trainwreck future which awaited him. I could warn him, but he would never believe me. I’m just a stranger. I am content to remain a million miles away, as not to be reminded.
These are not your friends nor lovers, just shadows of former alliances. A brief window of time, where convenience was the glue that bonded us all together. The folly of youth and absolute optimism. There is no state of permanence for the likes of us. Love is the law that has remained broken for ages. It is widely ignored like the beggar on the curb. Guard yourself from the manic feeling these people sometimes instill. Continue forward towards a dream that has eluded you for ages. Find another goal to strive toward. There’s nothing else one can do.